


Decisions

by MiladyDragon



Series: Dragon-Verse: Future Adventures [8]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Merlin (TV), Torchwood
Genre: Discussion of Abortion, Dragon-Verse, Dragons, Family, Future Fic, Jack and Ianto are the best Grandfathers ever, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-21
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3199676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiladyDragon/pseuds/MiladyDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur gets some unexpected news and Merlin overreacts.  It's up to Jack and Ianto to help set things right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in the Dragon-Verse Future timeline, and was requested by Idycat1170 after being able to name most of my OC's from "Surviving the Interview Process". It isn't quite what you asked for, and went just a bit longer than I'd originally planned - and is horrifically late - but I hope you enjoy it. I cut it into three chapters, and I'll be posting one a day so there's not much waiting.

 

**_2 February 5114 (Earth Standard Date)_ **

**_Hubworld, Gliese 581g_ **

****

Arthur Harkness- Jones – known the Twelve Galaxies and beyond as Arthur Pendragon, Once and Future King and Director of the Torchwood Institute – suddenly jerked awake, his head whipping upward so fast his neck protested the rough treatment.  His eyes darted around his darkened office, and he was relieved that no one had seen him taking his unplanned nap.

Wiping the embarrassing line of drool from his chin, Arthur slumped back into his chair, wondering if he wasn’t coming down with something.  He’d been tired for about a week; run down in a way that only long-term assignments could make him.  But he hadn’t left Hubworld in well over a month, not even to visit Earth, so that couldn’t be what was exhausting him so badly that he’d actually fall asleep with his head on his desk.   

With his dragon-immortal physiognomy, Arthur knew he could go a lot longer than most ephemeral life forms without rest, but lately he’d been getting home at a decent hour, and even with his and Merlin’s rather strenuous sex life he’d been getting at least seven hours of sleep a night.  So no, this wasn’t due to any lack on his part; this had to be something else, and as much as he hated to do it, he considered going to check in with Medical and see what they had to say.  The last thing Arthur wanted was to endanger a mission or personnel if he wasn’t at his best. 

Sighing, he stood up, picking up Excalibur from where he’d leaned the sword against the wall when he’d come into his office that morning.  Sliding the magical sword into its sheath at his waist, Arthur made his way to the closed office door.  He took one more look around the office, making certain he hadn’t forgotten anything, and then pulled the door open and exited, closing it behind him.

He turned to smile at Guinevere, who was sitting at her desk, comm unit in her ear as she looked up at him.  Her expression was curious.  “You’re leaving awfully early.”

Arthur shrugged.  When the Knights from his court began reincarnating all those centuries ago, Guinevere had come with them, almost literally attached to Lancelot’s hip.  It was but one more thing that the legends about King Arthur and his court had gotten wrong: Arthur’s doomed love affair with her.  Yes, he’d made her his Queen, but all four of them had known that it was in name only.  There had been certain things that Arthur had been expected to do, and to keep the peace he’d buckled under the pressure of running a kingdom by marrying, even though Guinevere had known there would never be anything to it.  They’d been friends though, even closer than Arthur had been with his own half-sister, Morgana…no, he wasn’t going to think about her yet.  Morgana hadn’t reincarnated; at least, not that he’d known of, and after what she’d done to try to take his throne his feelings toward her were quite ambiguous.  And, while Arthur wasn’t a coward by nature, there were just some things he wanted to avoid.

“I’m not really feeling very well,” he admitted to her.  “Since we’re slow around here, I thought I might head down to Medical.”

That earned him a frown.  “I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit pale lately,” she admitted.  “I just didn’t think it was something bad enough for you to admit to it.”

Arthur rolled his eyes at her.  “I’m not quite that stubborn.”

“Yes you are.”

Okay, maybe she had a point.

“Anyway,” he went on, “if you need me I’ll have my comm on.”  He tapped the base of his ear, and the tiny implanted device clicked as it activated.  “Merlin should be down in the Hoard, so I doubt he’ll be up before quitting time.”  Merlin loved to lose himself in the Torchwood Archives, also known as the Dragon’s Hoard from back when Arthur’s Grandtad, Ianto Jones, had run the place.

Guinevere snorted.  “In other words, dig him out about dinnertime and send him home if you don’t do it yourself first.”

Arthur gave her one of his best smiles.  “What would I do without you, Guinevere?”

“Never get a thing done?”

He couldn’t help but laugh; she was actually quite correct.  “See you tomorrow.”

“Take care, Arthur.”  Her good humour faded.  “Hope everything’s alright.”

“I’m sure it’s just some sort of virus or something.”  Yes, even he sometimes got sick; dragons were quite susceptible to the still-uncured common Earth cold.

The Director’s office was on the top floor of Torchwood Tower, and Arthur rode the lift down to the Medical section, which took up three entire floors near the centre of the large building.  Two of the floors were laboratories and such; the bottommost level was for actual medical issues, and he found himself at the front desk area where an Earth Reptile – once known as a Silurian – grinned up at him, revealing predator-sharp teeth.  “What can I do for you, Director?” he asked, his voice just a tiny bit sibilant.

“Is Doctor Richardson available?”  Doctor Gaius Richardson was the current in-house expert on dragon physiognomy, as well as being Arthur’s personal doctor.  It also didn’t hurt that he was the present reincarnation of the old Camelot court physician, either.

“Let me see.”  The Earth Reptile spoke softly into his comm, and then waited for the response.  He glanced up at Arthur and nodded.  “Doctor Richardson is in his office.  He requested that I send you on back.”

“Thank you.”  Arthur made his way around the desk and then left down the corridor where the medical offices were.  He passed several open areas where patients were waiting; each practitioner along that hallway was a specialist in various fields.  Torchwood had an open-hire policy, which meant humans were only a small fraction of a percent of the personnel who worked there.  That, of course, included Arthur, who only looked human. 

Gaius’ office was near the end of the corridor.  Surprisingly, the waiting area was empty; Gaius was well-liked within Torchwood, and while he was admittedly the utmost expert on dragons he also saw to the well-being of other various races as well.  So it was a bit of a surprise when the doctor’s receptionist waved Arthur through into the inner office, where Gaius was waiting.

This reincarnation of Camelot’s court physician/wizard was much like the one Arthur recalled from his first set of memories, only younger and a bit taller.  It was the eyebrows that gave Gaius away; they still had the power to stun a person at twenty-five feet.

Gaius smiled.  “Welcome, Arthur.  You caught me on a really slow day.  I was about to do some lab work.”

“I don’t want to keep you –“

“Nonsense, my boy!  Anything for you, you know that.”  His eyes narrowed.  “You _are_ looking a bit pale.  Hop up on the exam table and we’ll see what we’re dealing with.”  He patted the upholstered table, the only piece of furniture in the room besides a rolling stool and a sink.

Once Arthur was seated, Gaius dragged the stool over with his foot and sat himself down.  “Now, what’s been going on that has you coming to see me?  Usually Merlin has to drag you in for a visit.”

“I am not that stubborn!”  It didn’t sound any more convincing than it had when he’d said it to Guinevere.

He got the Eyebrow Treatment for that.  Yes, it really was just as deadly now as it had been back during the Camelot days.

Arthur sighed.  He really didn’t get any respect from the people who knew him best.  “I’ve been feeling tired lately,” he admitted.  “I just fell asleep at my desk.”

Gaius frowned.  “Well, I’m sure it’s nothing serious.  Let me get some blood samples and I’ll run an examination.  Why don’t we lie back, alright?”

Arthur did, grumbling, “I don’t see _we_ doing anything…”

He got the Eyebrow again for that bit of verbal insubordination.  Arthur sighed again, and let Gaius get on with it.

 

**********

 

Merlin Williams-Song walked past Guinevere’s desk, heading toward his mate’s office.  He was whistling something – he really had no idea what, but it was a happy tune – as he gave Guinevere a nod in greeting.

“He’s not in there,” she said, bringing Merlin to a halt.

“What do you mean?” he asked, surprised.  Arthur was always in his office that time of day, unless he’d been called away. 

“He wasn’t feeling well,” Guinevere explained.  “So he went down to see Gaius.”

Merlin frowned.  Arthur would have to have been practically dying before he’d admit that he was sick; in fact, he’d noticed his mate looking pale that morning, but there’d been something off for about a week.  He’d actually mentioned it, and Arthur had brushed him off.  Getting Arthur to visit Gaius was like pulling teeth, so for him to go under his own power…

“He was going to go home after he saw Gaius,” Guinevere went on, “and he went down to Medical about three hours ago.  I doubt he’s still there.”

She was right, Merlin knew.  “Thanks, Gwen,” he replied, giving her a smile that felt a little bit tacked on.  He was worried about his mate, and not just for the lack of Arthur-like behaviour. “I’ll head there now.”

“I’m sure everything’s alright,” his friend soothed.  “There’s not a lot that can take a dragon down.”

Merlin couldn’t argue with that, but dragons were still susceptible to viruses and various illnesses that passed from person to person. 

He turned his back on Guinevere’s sympathetic face, heading toward the exit, and toward home.

 

**********

 

Arthur and Merlin lived in a townhouse near the mountains, within walking distance from the Tower.  It was in a neighbourhood made up mostly of higher-ranking Torchwood families, including Arthur’s reincarnated Knights.  The exception to that was Gwaine; ever since he’d mated with Anwyn – and hadn’t that been a shock to Arthur! – he’d taken up residence in the valley of Ddraig Llyn, the ancestral home of the Harkness-Jones clan.  The residences were all multi-story and looked remarkably alike, being made of permacrete that looked brick-red under the light from Hubworld’s primary, Gliese 581. 

By the time Merlin was jogging up the short flight of steps toward his front door, his concern had become full-blown worry.  Arthur was Torchwood, and he never left the Tower early except in times of emergency.  He certainly wouldn’t have because he wasn’t feeling well; Merlin had seen him working with a full-blown case of Remnethian pneumonia that should have had him down for the count for at least a standard week.  Goddess, he couldn’t even talk Arthur into going on vacation!

He threw the door open, calling out, “Arthur!” Merlin headed toward the lounge when he heard his mate answer.

Arthur was seated on the edge of the sofa, head in his hands as if he was exhausted.  Merlin’s hearts did a quick burst of out-of-sequence beating, and then he was on his knees in front of his mate, touching his knee with a hesitant hand.  “What’s wrong?”

Arthur lifted his head.  Tired blue eyes met his.  “I don’t…I’m not sure how to say it.”

“What did Gaius tell you?” Merlin had to know, even though Arthur’s reaction meant it had to be something bad.  “Whatever it is, we’ll handle it together.”

“It’s just…” Arthur shrugged.  “I just never expected…” He scrubbed a hand over his face.  “With all the precautions we take, I just never thought it would happen.”

Merlin was understandably confused.  Arthur looked tired, and in shock, but the tone of his voice sounded like he was completely unable to believe that whatever it was had happened to him.  And what was that about precautions?  What sort of precautions was he talking about?

For one of the few times Merlin could recall, Arthur seemed totally lost for words.  His mouth opened and closed a couple of times, before he sighed and shook his head.  “I’m not sick, honestly.”

Despite his fear, Merlin couldn’t help but scoff at that.  “Obviously you are, because you’re not really making any sense.”  He was tempted to tease him about never making sense, but bit his tongue.  Whatever was going on, giving Arthur a hard time would probably make him shut down more than he already was.

That caused a fairly weak eye roll that wasn’t at all like Arthur at all.  “I thought I was, but that was before Gaius gave me the news.”  He reached out and rested both his hands on Merlin’s one, where it was still laying on his mate’s knee.  “I’m…” he swallowed hard.  “I’m pregnant.”

Merlin couldn’t help the goofy smile that blossomed across his face.  And here he’d thought it was something terrible!

“That’s fantastic news!” he exclaimed.  He couldn’t help himself; he clambered up Arthur like he was some sort of tree, straddling his lap and kissing his mate silly. 

It was a few seconds later that he realised Arthur wasn’t kissing him back.

Merlin pulled back, confused.  “Okay, something tells me you don’t think this is a good thing.”

Arthur’s hands came to rest on Merlin’s hips, and his mate gave him a look that Merlin couldn’t quite identify.  “Merlin, I can’t be pregnant.”

Merlin frowned.  “What do you mean?  Of course you can!  Gaius said you were, and he knows what he’s talking about.”

“But what about Torchwood?”

That wasn’t quite what Merlin was expecting him to say.  “What about Torchwood?  Why should Torchwood care if you’re having a baby?”

Then he reared back, recalling the conversation he and Arthur had once had about having a family.  “You’re not serious, are you?”

“Merlin, I’m the Director of the Institute.  Being pregnant…it would affect me doing my job.”

“Fuck your job, Arthur!  This is our child you seem to be denying!”  He couldn’t believe that his mate was thinking these thoughts. 

Of course he’d known Arthur’s views on the whole thing.  He’d been afraid that carrying a child would ruin his dignity and hurt his ability to run Torchwood.  But, honestly…Merlin had thought that, if it ever did happen, Arthur would accept it; that he’d realise that starting a family wasn’t a bad thing. 

But here he was…and Merlin was suddenly very angry.

He pulled himself off Arthur’s lap, practically tearing himself out of his mate’s hands.  “I can’t believe you!” he shouted.  “Why are you even considering putting Torchwood first before our baby?” 

Arthur looked up at him, his blue eyes losing their tiredness and flashing with his own anger.  “Torchwood is our life,” he snapped.  “We long ago decided it…together.   You accepted it just as I did.  So don’t even change your mind now that this…accident…has happened.”

“Accident?” Merlin growled.  He could feel his magic reacting to his emotions, and to be honest – for one of the very few times in his life – he didn’t want to rein it in.  He did, however, out of a sense of protection against harming the innocent life Arthur was carrying.   “It’s a _blessing_ , Arthur!  And I’m sorry you can’t see that!”

He couldn’t stay in the townhouse, not at that moment.  Merlin needed to get away before he said something he’d regret. 

“I can’t be here right now.”  Merlin stomped around the sofa where Arthur was sitting, heading toward the front door.

“Merlin!” Arthur called him back.

He ignored it.

Merlin was halfway back to the Tower before he realised where he was going and stopped, making a frustrated noise as he ran his hands through his hair.  Of _course_ he’d head back to the Tower!  It had only been one of the many constants in his life for nearly fourteen hundred years! 

Yes, he’d once thought the way Arthur did, that Torchwood was in his blood and his life and he’d never seen himself leaving, let alone having a life outside of the Institute. 

But he’d changed his mind the longer he and Arthur had been together.  He’d seen his Harkness-Jones grandparents bring children into the universe.  He’d seen his mother die in order to save his father even before he’d met her.  He’s been a witness in the exile of his Williams-Pond grandparents.  He’d watched five long-lost true dragons being hatched from their eggs and accepted into their family as if they were naturally born there. 

Merlin had come to treasure family, which was also when he’d come to hope that, one day, he and Arthur would have a family of their own despite Arthur’s own personal opinion on the matter.

The sorcerer sighed.  He knew he couldn’t go back home, even though he was beginning to calm down.  He’d only get upset again, and that wouldn’t do any good at all.  And so, he set his feet toward the public transmat station, knowing there was one place he could go for the night where he would be welcomed unconditionally.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

**_2 February 5114 (Earth Standard Date)_ **

**_Ddraig Llyn, Earth_ **

 

 

The tingle of the transmat subsided and Merlin left the closet where the family kept their personal teleportation hub under the stairs of the Harkness-Jones home. 

He knew he probably should have warned them he was coming, but Merlin hadn’t honestly thought about it until he’d actually programmed the coordinates into the control pod of the public transmat on Hubworld.  The transmat system was one of the oldest in the Human Empire, but it had become more long-distance as more and more advancements were made although people mostly relied on spaceships for their lengthy travels.

But transmat was still a good way to go if a person wanted to get somewhere fast, and so Merlin found himself making his way into the large family room of the Harkness-Jones house. 

It was empty, but he could hear movement in the kitchen, so he headed in that direction, and the smells of cooking wafted toward him.  Despite his upset, his stomach made itself known, growling petulantly.

“Cousin Merlin!”

He turned at the louder than necessary scream, just as a brown blur slammed into him, sending him to the ground.  He couldn’t help but laugh as one of the newer additions, William, climbed all over him, greeting him exuberantly.

Merlin wrapped his arms around the twelve-year-old dragon, hugging him roughly.  “It’s good to see you too, Bug.”

A familiar golden glow surrounded the child, and in seconds a boy with brown hair and brown eyes was hugging him back.  “I’m not a bug,” William denied hotly. “I’m a dragon!”

“You’ll always be Bug to me,” Merlin chuckled, rubbing his knuckles over William’s head, causing the young dragon to wriggle in excitement.

The five young dragons that had been discovered back in the past had all been accepted into the family, and Merlin adored them all, even standoffish Lisa.  Each of them had issues; of the five, only William and Oswyn truly could recall their lives before they’d been encased within their shells and had been hidden away in that cave in the Bavarian Alps.  But those vague memories had taught both of them what it was like to be abandoned, even though their parents had most likely been trying to save them from some danger.  James didn’t have any of those early memories, but William and Oswyn’s fear of abandonment had affected him as well, and Robyn and Lisa had their own demons to deal with.  In matter of fact, Lisa still hadn’t gained her human form, even she should have by the time she’d turned ten, and she didn’t speak all that much to anyone.  Robyn still didn’t fly.

“Didn’t we teach you not to tackle people, William?” the amused voice of the family’s dragon patriarch, Ianto Jones, came from above the wrestling pair.

“It’s not people, Tad!  It’s Cousin Merlin!”  It was said in that logic that children often employ in order to get themselves out of trouble.

It gave Merlin a pang in his chest, thinking of his own child that Arthur appeared to not want.

Something must have shown in his face, because his Grandtad Ianto was looking at him knowingly.   “Leave Merlin alone and go bother your siblings,” he told William gently.  “Dinner will be ready in about half an hour.”

“Okay, Tad.”  William got up, changing back into his brown dragon form and flitting away.

Ianto held out a hand to help Merlin up.  “I take it something’s wrong?”

Merlin sighed, accepting the assistance.  “You could say that.”

“Come on into the kitchen.  Jack’s in there, attempting to help with dinner.”

He followed the elder dragon. The kitchen was enormous, but then with so many family members sometimes the sheer amount of food that left it was truly magical. 

Granddad Jack was standing over the stove, his sleeves rolled up, stirring a bubbling pot of what smelled like stew and wearing a frilly apron that looked faintly ridiculous on him.  Merlin’s stomach grumbled again, and Jack winked at him playfully.  “You’re welcome to stay,” he said, “there’s plenty for you and Arthur.”

“I’m here by myself, actually,” the sorcerer admitted, leaning against the long island that bisected the kitchen area.

Jack lost his smile.  “What happened?”

And so, under the sympathetic gaze of his only living grandparents, Merlin explained what had happened and why he’d stormed out of his home and why he’d come to Ddraig Llyn.

After he was finished – and it wasn’t a long story – Merlin actually felt better.  No matter what Jack and Ianto said, just telling them what had occurred removed a weight that had been around his hearts.  He trusted his grandparents to give him at least some advice on what to do.

When he was done, Ianto looked sad, while Jack simply sighed.  “You know it’s his choice, right?” his granddad asked.  “Whatever Arthur decides, it’s his body and his choice.”

“I do know,” Merlin said.  “But I think he’s so upset by it that he’s not taking the alternatives into consideration.  And he’s so hung up on being Torchwood and how being pregnant would damage his dignity...I guess maybe I just learned that Torchwood’s not the end-all, be-all.  And I’d hoped that one day we’d have our own family.”

 Jack and Ianto exchanged looks, silent conversation passing between them in that familiar way of long-term couples.  “I’ll go and talk to him,” Jack finally said, removing his apron and abandoning the pot on the stove.  “I should be back pretty quickly.”

“You’re leaving me to feed the ravening hordes,” Ianto mocked, putting his hands on his hips.

“You’re so much better at controlling them than I am,” Jack replied, holding his hands up in a warding off gesture.

“That’s because I’m the strict father, and you’re the fun one.”

Merlin couldn’t help but snort at their antics.  He truly adored his grandparents, and had faith that they’d be able to fix things.

“Should I come too?” he asked, almost dreading the answer.

“No,” Jack answered.  “Stay here and eat.  I think it’s better if I talk to Arthur alone.”

“Jack’s right,” Ianto added.  “Things might flare up again if you went along.”

Merlin had to admit they were right. 

Jack put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.  “It’s going to be fine, Merlin.  No matter what Arthur decides.”

“I know,” he admitted.  “Now I feel just a bit guilty bringing this to you and not trying to work this out on my own…”

“Don’t do that,” Ianto chided lightly.  “There are some things that need a bit of intercession on.  Once Jack talks to Arthur you’ll know best how to proceed in patching things up.  You’re just a bit too raw at the moment and there’s no telling what might happen if you faced him now.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Jack said.  He left the kitchen, smiling reassuringly back at Merlin as he walked out.

“Come on,” Ianto urged, “help me get ready to face the starving masses.”

Merlin couldn't help but chuckle as he did as his Grandtad bid.

 

**********

 

Arthur heard the door slam, and it sent him slumping onto the sofa, his head banging against the back almost hard enough to hurt despite the overstuffing of the cushions.

Why couldn't Merlin understand what this meant?  There was no way he could afford to carry any sort of child to term, let alone raise one while running Torchwood?  It was simply too much, with their duties and responsibilities that they each had?

Merlin was more often than not led by his hearts and not his head.  It was one of the things he dearly loved about his mate, but there were times when the head just had to overrule the heart.  Having a child would put undue pressure on both of them, and would interfere with their jobs.

They’d been in charge of Torchwood for nearly fourteen hundred years.  They’d made certain promises to each other when they took over, including not having children.  Yes, he knew that Merlin was constantly hoping he’d change his mind, but in all those years it had just become clearer that not starting a family had been the right thing.  Torchwood was far too dangerous to bring children into it as well.  Why couldn’t Merlin understand that?

Arthur had no idea how long he sat there, wallowing in what he could only admit to himself was self-pity, but he sat up when he heard the front door open once more.  “Merlin?” he called, craning his head around the couch to see the entry.

“Afraid not,” answered the unmistakeable voice of his Grandfather. 

Jack came down the short hallway, looking relaxed in rolled-up sleeves and with his ubiquitous braces down around his hips.  He must have come the moment Merlin had shown up; of course, Merlin had gone to Ddraig Llyn.  It would have been the first place Arthur would have looked if his mate had stayed away overnight.

He took a seat in one of the chairs near the sofa, his wise blue eyes meeting Arthur’s.  “I’d say congratulations but I get this feeling this isn’t the best news.”

Arthur leaned forward, forearms resting on his thighs.  “It really isn’t.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Yes, he did.  He poured out everything: the decision they’d made when the two of them had chosen to take over Torchwood; the reasons Arthur felt were valid to not bring a child into this universe when they would be too busy to take care of it; the indignity of running Torchwood while pregnant.  He explained that he’d long known that Merlin had wanted a family, but how Arthur had thought his mate would go along with his decision not to have it. 

His grandfather just sat there, listening and not judging.  Arthur was so grateful to have someone there who was willing to hear what he had to say, although a part of him was dreading what Jack would say in return.  After all, his grandparents had a total of sixteen children, including the five orphans they’d adopted into the family, and he was well aware that they both loved all their children.  In the back of his mind he could hear his grandfather giving a lecture about family and togetherness and how he should listen to Merlin about keeping their child…

Instead, once he’d explained everything, Jack replied, “It’s your body, Arthur.  It’s your right to do what you want.”

Alright, that was a surprise.  “You’re not going to talk me into keeping it?”

Jack shook his head.  “No, it’s not my right.  This is between you and Merlin.  But I can tell you this: that I understand what you’re saying better than you think, because I found myself in nearly the exact same circumstance when I found out I was carrying your mother.”

Arthur’s mouth fell open.  Certainly he’d heard the stories of how much of a surprise his mother’s conception had been, but this was the first time he was being told that his grandfather had almost ended his own pregnancy.  “What happened?” he asked, needing to know.

Jack shrugged.  “Ianto and I were Torchwood; we’d lived and breathed it for over six hundred years at that point.  We never even thought about a family, because we always thought we were genetically incompatible and that it would never happen.  We’d only been off Earth for little over a year when we got the news.

“At first, both Ianto and I were over the moon.  It was something we’d never thought we’d have.  But then reality hit: Torchwood had just moved to Hubworld, the terraforming hadn’t even been completed yet…and let me tell you, the groundquakes were _not_ fun while the planet was settling.  We were in the process of getting the Tower built and we didn’t even have a proper house yet.  We both knew it would take at least a hundred years before everything was in place, and there was just so much work to do that carrying for an infant was going to be impossible.

“But Ianto…he wanted a family.  He’d lost his so long ago and he still carried that loss with him, so when I got pregnant he was the happiest I’d ever seen him.  The way he coddled me…well, you’ve heard stories.  So when I talked to him about the difficulties we’d have with all the work we’d have to do, he was devastated.  He understood, but his heart just broke.”

Arthur nodded.  These were his exact reasons for not keeping the baby.  “Why did you decide to keep her?” he asked curiously.  He couldn’t even think about his mother not being born, if only because it would have meant Arthur never having been born as well.

“It came down to the fact that the doctors we consulted kept telling us that I wouldn’t carry to term,” Jack said calmly.  “Ianto and I really weren’t compatible; I should never have gotten pregnant.  No one could explain how we conceived her, except that I’d just come off nearly seven hundred years of forced contraception and my reproductive system went into overdrive.”  He sighed.  “We realised then that Anwyn was our miracle and we couldn’t just let her go.  Back then, there weren’t the alternatives that there are now; you don’t even have to carry a child yourself, you can use an outside womb, or a transfer surrogate…if we’d decided to not have Anwyn, it would have had to have been an abortion.  Plus, as far as the doctors were concerned, I wouldn’t carry her to full term, let alone ever get pregnant again.”

Arthur couldn’t help but laugh.  “Little did they know!”

Jack joined him in laughing.  “Well, to be fair they didn’t know we’d be getting magical help centuries later, and I didn’t actually ever get pregnant again until after we’d moved back to Earth.” Then he sobered.  “So, you see…I really can understand what you’re going through.  I’m not saying you should do what Ianto and I did, because this really is your life, but I do hope you might consider some of the alternatives out there.  If you don’t want to raise a child, Ianto and I would be perfectly willing to do it.  I’m also sure your mother would offer to do the same.  You have choices, Arthur.  Please don’t forget that, because we’re not going to force you into anything.”

“I know that, Grandfather,” Arthur admitted.  “I just wish Merlin understood that.”

“I think you can believe that Ianto is having his own little heart-to-heart with him as we speak.  But I think there’s something you’re not taking into consideration about your mate, and you might want to consider this as well: Merlin hasn’t had the family experience that you have.  He hardly ever sees his father – although I’m not so sure that’s the Doctor’s fault, he just gets caught up and loses track of time, which is ironic considering he’s a Time Lord.  Sure, he’s had all of us, but we aren’t blood related to him.  His mother is gone, his maternal grandparents are gone, so all he really has is you.  He doesn’t even have a home planet, with Gallifrey having been destroyed.  So, this child will weigh more heavily with him than it will with you, because you’ve always been surrounded by family.”

“How did you and Grandtad Ianto do it?  How did you handle Mother and Torchwood?”

“Personally, I don’t think we did all that well, to be honest,” Jack answered plainly.  “There were many times that we had to be gone for long periods of time, off on Torchwood business.  Sometimes I wish I could go back and change things and have a closer relationship with her as a child, but that’s impossible.  We did have Phillip who helped out a lot, but once he was summoned to the Imperial Throneworld by the then-Emperor it was either let her go with him since she already considered him her uncle, or we hire a nanny to take over raising her, which is what we eventually did.  I do regret that.  However, at least we were able to get closer the older we all became, for which I’m grateful.”

Jack leaned forward, meeting Arthur’s eyes directly.  “But you don’t have to worry about that, son.  You have plenty of people to help you.  You don’t have to sacrifice one for the other, although if you decided to, retirement certainly is an option, and you can choose to go back at any time if it doesn’t work out.  You and Merlin have been Torchwood for longer than Ianto and I were, and we knew when it was time to leave.  You’ve done a lot of good work for the Empire, Arthur.  Maybe this is a sign that it’s time for the two of you to take back your lives from the Institute.  I know I regret sometimes that Ianto and I didn’t step aside and raise Anwyn like we should have, although she doesn’t think we did anything wrong.”

Arthur didn’t know what to say.  He was hearing things he hadn’t before, and it was shocking.  That his grandparents – two of the most loving people he knew – had seriously considered ending the pregnancy that had resulted in his own mother… 

That was when he figured out just how controlling Torchwood was.  That it took over your life, and when you’re effectively immortal it makes it worse.  Yes, he was proud of the work he’d done, but now he had to consider this choice: Torchwood or his own blood.  If he chose Torchwood, would Merlin understand?  Certainly there were other choices to be made, and he would trust his grandparents to raise any child they were given.  Jack and Ianto had settled into retired life with grace, and were surrounded by friends and family back on Earth.  Any child would only benefit from being taken into such a group of caring individuals.

“I’ll also add these two credits in,” Jack said, “there’s nothing like carrying a child.  It was so hard with Anwyn; so many things went wrong, and Torchwood was still struggling…it was no wonder Ianto had to practically force me to sit down every once in a while, for my sake and for Anwyn’s.  If I’d died…well, I would have come back, but Anwyn wouldn’t have.  After we’d decided to keep her, it was a fight to balance the three of us, and let’s face it…Torchwood is every bit of this family than any flesh and blood person.”  He chuckled.  “It was like living in a threesome without any of the benefits.  But I will never regret keeping her.  Your mother is the strongest person I know, and that includes your Grandtad.  I like to think the struggle we had in bringing her into the world gave her that strength.”

“I…think I have a lot to think about,” Arthur murmured. 

He truly did.  His grandfather had given him the benefit of his own experience, and Arthur had to digest everything that he’d learned.  Both his grandparents often joked about carrying his mother, but to know that there had been something more to it changed his perspective.

Certainly, he and Merlin could always try for another child later, when they were both ready to step down, but Arthur wasn’t sure if he was ready for that yet even if the idea was tempting.  The problem was, Arthur was too much a child of duty to just walk away, and carrying a child would only make things more difficult.

Still, Jack was right: there were many alternatives.  He was only about nine weeks along, so if they decided to go through a transplantation: either to an outside womb or a surrogate there would be plenty of time to work out the details. 

 “I think I need to talk to Merlin,” Arthur said, “and this time without the yelling.”

“That would be an excellent idea.”  Jack stood up.  “Now, I’m pretty sure you haven’t eaten anything, so let’s go and grab a bite and by that time Ianto will have sent Merlin home.”  He rested a hand on Arthur’s shoulder.  “It’ll all work out, you know.  No matter what your decision is, it will work out.”

“I’m glad to know you have that kind of faith,” Arthur said, little just a little of his uncertainty show.

His grandfather smiled.  “Of course I have faith!  I have faith in both you and Merlin to handle this, no matter what you eventually decide to do.”

And this, Arthur knew, was yet another reason why he loved his grandfather so much.

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

**_2 February 5114 (Earth Standard Date)_ **

**_Ddraig Llyn, Earth_ **

 

 

“You know,” Ianto said, stirring the pot of stew that Jack had been working on, “you might be taking this just a bit out of context.”

Merlin stared at him in disbelief.  “Arthur said he wanted to get rid of our baby,” he exclaimed.  “How can I possibly take that out of context?”

“Did he actually use the word ‘abortion’ at any time during your screaming match?”

“It was hardly a screaming match!”  Merlin denied, and then considered his grandtad’s words.  “But no, he didn’t.”

“Then you shouldn’t have assumed that was the only thing on his mind.”  The elder dragon picked up a smaller spoon and dipped it into the stew.  He tasted it, muttered something about needing more salt, and went on.  “There are so many alternatives to that anymore.  He may have simply thought of another way that he wouldn’t have to carry a child.”

He was right, of course.  Merlin knew there were so many alternatives now, and so did his mate.  “Okay, maybe I was a bit hasty.  But Grandtad, I really want this baby.  I know Arthur and I discussed not having children back when we took over Torchwood, but that was before I really thought about it.  I also saw you and Grandfather raising a family and thought…well, I thought he’d change his mind someday.”

“Arthur is very stubborn.”

“Yes, he is, the obnoxious prat.”  Merlin couldn’t help but smile at that.

 Ianto returned the smile.  “See, you know you can’t hold things against him all that long.”

This was true.  Even back during their first lives Merlin always was able to forgive Arthur readily.  It was all part of Arthur’s charm…or lack thereof.

“I do know it’s Arthur’s decision in the end,” he went on, “and I’ll accept whatever he chooses.  But, Grandtad, I’ve always wanted a family of my own.”  He sighed.  “There have been times when I’ve felt alone around Arthur’s family, even though I know you’ve completely accepted me.  It’s just, well, no matter how much I love you all, you’re not related to me by blood.  And I really don’t have family of my own…well, there’s Dad, but I think I’ve seen him a handful of times in years Arthur and I have been mates.  Makes me almost wish for the times back when I travelled with him, even if Mum or Grandpa and Grandma weren’t around.  And I never could get used to his new companion, Clara.  I just don’t really care for her all that much, I’m afraid.”

“Sometimes the bonds of love are more powerful than the bonds of blood,” Ianto commented.  His eyes looked so very old in that moment, Merlin couldn’t help but hug him.

The dragon’s higher body temperature warmed Merlin’s naturally cooler skin.  “You will always be my grandson, Merlin.  Never doubt how much we love you.”

“I won’t,” the sorcerer promised. 

Their moment was broken by a pounding of feet, and a shouted, “Tad!”

“And here come the hellions,” Ianto chuckled, drawing away.  “Grab the plates, will you?  There will be eight of us for dinner tonight.”

“Sure.” He reached into the cabinets where the bowls were kept, and then for spoons in the silverware drawer. 

“Plenty of napkins, please,” the dragon reminded.  “The children are very messy eaters.”

 

**********

 

Dinner was boisterous; with six twelve year-olds it was bound to be.  There were the five orphans that had been retrieved from the past, and Alyce, who was the youngest of the blood Harkness-Jones children, born only a couple of months after the ‘quintuplets’.  It wasn’t the ‘starving hordes’ that his grandfather has claimed, but it was still rowdy and Merlin had a fantastic time with all of his youngest cousins.

This was what Arthur couldn’t – or wouldn’t – see: the happiness that children gave, even if they were too busy picking the peas out of the stew, like James was, and hiding them in Robyn’s bowl.  Or poking at each other, like Oswyn and William were.  Even Lisa’s quiet reserve and Alyce’s over-polite requests for various condiments did nothing to reduce Merlin’s enjoyment of the evening.   He tried very hard not to laugh at Lisa gripping her spoon in her claws and managing not to spill it on herself, not wanting her to withdraw into her shell just because he thought it was adorable.

The kids chattered about their day, all six of them taking lessons under the same teacher.  There was a small school in Ddraig Llyn, and even though Merlin had often heard his grandparents discussing sending the children out of the valley for a more rounded education, that never seemed to happen.  Especially with the five orphans, who were much happier in the valley among people they knew than among strangers. 

Merlin let their rapid-fire talk soothe him, and he daydreamed a bit about another child at the table, with Arthur’s hair and Merlin’s eyes, eating soup with them and telling them about his – or her – lessons and how they were getting along with all the other kids in his group. 

A sharp pang on longing stabbed him just between the hearts, and he coughed as his stew went down the wrong pipe.

Ianto’s knowing eyes met his, and he knew he didn’t have to explain what he was feeling.

 

**********

 

It was late by the time Merlin arrived back at the townhouse he shared with his mate.

Jack had shooed him out when he’s gotten back from talking with Arthur, encouraging him to really sit down and tell his mate what he was feeling.  Merlin agreed, because to do anything else would have been silly since his grandfather made perfect sense.  He really did need to have a conversation with Arthur and make his stance clear, just as Arthur needed to do with him.  They couldn’t be at cross purposes, not on this.

Merlin opened the door cautiously despite Jack assuring him that he wouldn’t get yelled at the moment he entered the house.  He practically tiptoed into the lounge; Arthur was on the sofa again, just as he was when he’d stormed out earlier.  If Jack hadn’t told Merlin that they’d been out to eat, Merlin would have thought that his mate hadn’t moved since he’d left.

“Arthur?” he said tentatively.

His mate shot to his feet.  Arthur fidgeted slightly with his hands, but he gave Merlin a smile.  “You’re home.”

“I had to come home,” Merlin said lightly, “I was practically kicked out by Grandfather and Grandtad. Something about ‘go and mope at your own home’ or something equally sarcastic.”

“That sounds like them.”  Arthur fidgeted again, and then invited Merlin to sit beside him.

They both sat on the sofa, and Arthur turned to look at him, the blue of his eyes even truer than normal.  “I think we’re shit at communicating sometimes,” he began.

Merlin rolled his eyes.  “You think?”

“Idiot,” Arthur said fondly.

“Clotpole,” Merlin replied, equally fond.  “I think I really overreacted, and I’m sorry.”

“So am I,” Arthur returned.  “I didn’t make myself really clear.  I can understand why you were so upset.”

The sorcerer reached over and took his mate’s hand.  “You have to know I’ll support you no matter what.”

“I do.  But we really need to discuss our options, because as Grandfather pointed out to me there are quite a few.”  Arthur turned his hand up, tangling his fingers with Merlin’s.  “I figure we have several; we just have to decide which one is most acceptable.”

Merlin nodded, his heart in his throat.  He really didn’t want to have this conversation; he wanted things to be perfect, and no matter what they talked about that was not going to happen.  He wanted a family with him; he wanted everything that his grandparents had, even if it was sometimes like a madhouse and Jack and Ianto didn’t know which way was up. 

“I know what family means to you,” Arthur began.  “Grandfather was very kind to point it out to me, and I’m only sorry I didn’t realise it sooner.”  He looked embarrassed. “Well, I did, but I didn’t think about it in the terms he did until he made it perfectly clear to me.  I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you with my careless words earlier.  I can only apologise for it, and my only excuse is that I was in such shock by what Gaius told me that I didn’t think about what I was saying.”

“It wasn’t just your fault,” Merlin answered.  “I took what you were saying to mean you were about to do something drastic, and should have known you wouldn’t do any such thing.  I should have stayed and talked it out with you.”

“We both weren’t at our best.”

“Nope, we weren’t.  So,” Merlin settled back onto the sofa, still keeping Arthur’s hand in his, “what are we going to do about this?  I should let you know…I do want this baby, even if you don’t want to carry it.  We can arrange for another way to have it.”

Arthur nodded slowly.  “Yes, I thought you might say that.”  He squeezed Merlin’s hand.  “Grandfather gave me a few things to think on, and I really want to share my thoughts with you, if that’s alright.”

“Of course it is.”

And so, Merlin listened as Arthur talked.

 

**********

 

It was a long night, but for some reason Arthur wasn’t tired.

He felt invigorated, in fact; invigorated and just a bit morning sick.  But that didn’t matter.  Things between him and Merlin had been cleared up, and while what they’d eventually decided would be strange and difficult, he thought it was a fairly good resolution.

Arthur had thought he’d known his mate very well, but he’d learned a few things he hadn’t even thought of before.  Jack had pointed out a few things about Merlin’s feelings on family, and he’d been correct, although it went a bit farther than that.  Arthur had come to realise that his idea of family and Merlin’s were two different things, and it actually harkened back all the way to their first lives together, when Merlin had lost his father and had been separated from his mother for so many years.  Arthur, it seemed, had always had some sort of family, even though Uther had skirted the edge of the psychotic and his half-sister, Morgana, had tried to kill him so many times and had eventually succeeded.  Then he’d been reborn into the Harkness-Jones clan, and had learned an entirely new definition of family that he hadn’t known existed.

Merlin though…it seemed, in every life he’d had, had lacked true family.  Arthur really had no idea how many times his mate had been reincarnated before they’d finally rejoined each other, but in nearly every one of them something had been wrong.  Even in his current – and fairly immortal – life wasn’t exactly the happiest.  He’d considered this his chance to finally make himself a true family, one that he could cherish and teach and be there for.  Yes, he’d done that for his cousins, and the students who had eventually become the instructors in the magical academy Merlin had set up hundreds of years ago.  But there was something special about teaching your own offspring that Merlin wanted more than anything.  He’d gained an insight into the man he’d loved throughout two lives, just as Merlin had gained a perspective into Arthur’s mind that he’d kept unintentionally hidden.

And so, the pair found themselves on the transmat pad in their family home, being greeted by their grandparents who both seemed anxious to hear what plan they’d figured out.

Arthur’s mother was there as well, and Anwyn Harkness-Jones was first forward, hugging Arthur and then Merlin and staring at them as if she was trying to read their minds.  “I just wanted to let you both know, whatever you’ve decided I’m behind you.  You’re my boys and nothing will ever change that.”

“Thank you, Mother,” Arthur said gratefully.  He hadn’t known there had been the weight of her disapproval on his shoulders until it was gone, but he really should have known better than to discount her.

“That’s actually why we’re here,” Merlin said, and he slipped his hand into Arthur’s.  All three saw the action and they received three happy expressions.

“Guess you worked it out, then,” Ianto assumed.

“We did,” Arthur agreed, “and that’s why we’re here.”

“Come and sit,” Jack said, waving them into the lounge. 

“Where’s the ravening horde?” Merlin joked. 

“In school,” Ianto answered.  “Let me get us all coffee and then we can talk.”  With that announcement, the elder dragon made his way toward the kitchen, where the distinct odour of good coffee was wafting.

“None for me, thanks,” Arthur called out. 

Ianto didn’t look back, but he waved his hand over his shoulder in acknowledgment.

Jack smirked.  “Do I need to even ask why you both look like you haven’t slept?”

Arthur rolled his eyes.  “We _talked_ , Grandfather.  That’s all.”

Anwyn elbowed her father in the side.  “Goddess, Dad!  These are your grandchildren you’re making innuendo at.”

“Sweetheart, there’s only one way to get pregnant naturally…I do think Arthur and Merlin don’t need me to dance around the subject of sex.”

Merlin snorted back laughter, and Arthur shook his head in despair.

“Sit down, you two,” Anwyn invited.  She, herself, sat in one of the overstuffed armchairs, while Arthur pulled Merlin down next to him on one of the large sofas that dominated the room.  Jack took his own place on the second sofa, and they waited for Ianto to come out of the kitchen.

Which wasn’t very long.

The dragon came back, bearing a tray with four coffee mugs and a glass filled with what looked like orange juice.  He set the tray down on the enormous coffee table, passing out the mugs and the glass of juice, for which Arthur was grateful for.  He’d developed an addiction to orange juice since being reborn.  They hadn’t really had anything like it in Camelot.

Although he was going to miss coffee.

“Well,” Anwyn began, “what have you boys decided?”

Arthur took another drink of his juice, and then glanced over at Merlin.  He nodded in answer to his unspoken question, because they’d discussed it and Arthur had wanted to tell them himself.  Of course, he hadn’t expected his mother to be there; she was supposed to have been off-world on a run out to the frontier stations in her personal ship, the _Dragon’s Eye_ , delivering supplies much needed by the settlers out on the rim of Imperial space.

He was glad she was there, though.  She needed to hear this as much as their grandfathers did.

“Merlin and I came to an understanding,” Arthur began.  “This pregnancy came as a surprise because I was on every contraceptive known to man –“

“I’ve said _that_ before,” Anwyn snorted. 

Arthur gaped at his mother for a second, not having heard _that_ particular story from her before, and then continued.  “I hadn’t realised just how much a family meant to Merlin, and he hadn’t known just how much duty meant to me.  But Merlin pointed out to me that duty wasn’t everything, and I pointed out to him that he had more family than either of us knew what to do with…”

Jack and Ianto both laughed; Anwyn grinned, rolling her eyes.

“The problem we really had,” Merlin cut in, “was that we’ve been this way through all our lives…well, through Arthur’s two and all of mine.  It’s hard enough breaking the habit of one life; doing it for a lot of them is downright crazy.”

They were nodding, so Arthur knew they understood what he and Merlin were saying.  He’d never doubted that they would.

“It took this to find out this about ourselves,” Arthur continued.  “Even we didn’t realise it was so bad, and although we’d both thought about it, we never really spoke to each other.  Sure, we danced around each other, making promises we knew, in the end, we couldn’t keep, but this…no, it was a complete shock for us both.”

Arthur took another sip of his drink.  “So, Merlin and I have decided that we really need to figure out just what we really want.  Do we want family…or do we want Torchwood?  So what we’re going to do is step away from Torchwood for a while and see what happens.  I’ll carry the baby to term, and consider what it’s like to actually be a father.  And, if we discover that we’ve somehow made a wrong choice, then so be it.  As Grandfather told me, we can always go back to Torchwood if that’s what we want.  Or, if we want to become full-time parents, then that’s certainly an option.  But we really need to figure this out between us because we can’t continue on like this.”

Anwyn had tears in her eyes, and their grandfathers both looked incredibly proud.  Arthur felt himself blushing under that pride, it meaning more to him that he could have ever said. 

His mother got up and insinuated herself between Arthur and Merlin, looping her arms around them and hugging them tightly.  “I’m gonna be a grandmother!” she practically squealed in Arthur’s ear.

“Mother!” he couldn’t help but laugh, “have some dignity!”

“Fuck dignity!” Anwyn exclaimed. “I’m going to spoil this child rotten and then send it back to you both to deal with, just you wait!”

“And you know if you choose to go back,” Jack said, “we’d be honoured to take care of the baby for you both.”

“Grandfather,” Arthur said, “did you and Grandtad ever consider going back to Torchwood?  After you both retired, I mean, and you didn’t have any younger children in the house.”  He knew that centuries separated his aunts and uncles from each other – except for Emlyn, Morgan, and Alun, who were born within the same one hundred year period – and he was genuinely curious as to why they never had.

“There was a time when we did consider it,” Ianto answered.  “But we knew that we’d have to quit again once your grandfather’s time stream caught up with his birth time, since we couldn’t risk anyone discovering his real identity and hoping to change time by doing something to keep him from achieving his immortality or his taking over Torchwood.  It wasn’t a chance we were prepared to take.  Perhaps someday down the timeline we’ll step back into a more visible role, but for now we’re perfectly happy with what we’re doing.”

“Ianto’s right,” Jack confirmed.  “Give us a couple of hundred years and we might get more involved.  But for now…family life suits us just fine.  And we do have five little dragons with certain issues that we need to help them through, plus a sixth about their same age, so we’re right where we need to be.”

Arthur nodded.  He’d known about the timeline issue, but he’d thought there would have been other reasons for his grandparents to keep remaining with such a low profile in galactic politics. 

“Have you thought about who’s going to take your places?” Anwyn asked, her arms still around the both of them.

“I think whoever becomes Director we should suggest they advance Guinevere to Second,” Merlin answered.  “What she doesn’t know about Torchwood operations aren’t worth knowing.”

“Excellent choice,” Jack agreed.  “Although why not Director?”

“Lance might actually try to kill us both if we do that,” Merlin laughed.  “And I, for one, don’t want to use up another regeneration.”

“Guinevere wouldn’t want it anyway,” Arthur replied.  “She’s a more of a “power behind the throne” type.”

“If you wouldn’t mind,” Anwyn said, “I’d like to suggest someone.”

“Certainly, Mother.  Who did you have in mind?”

Anwyn looked at both of her fathers.  “Isn’t it time we asked Uncle to finally come home?  It’s been far too long as it is…”

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, that was a nasty way to end things, but the sequel is already written and should start posting in a couple of days. Thanks for reading!


End file.
